World Menopause Day - Let’s talk about it!

“I am a firm advocate that everyone should be able to speak openly about the menopause and that there should be no stigma attached to what is, after all, a natural part of aging for ALL women.

We are all unique; we are not all the same. Some women will go through their menopause relatively smoothly, for others, it can be a tough and lonely journey, and this should not have to be the case.

My menopause started in my late 40s after a hysterectomy and peaked in my early 50s. My experience included weight gain, dry and itching skin, aching joints, heavy sore legs, cramps and the unbearable sweats night and day which bring with it the inevitable restless sleep patterns. I was permanently, and still am, self-conscious of sweating. You’re constantly thinking people are looking at you and making comments. You are immensely self-conscious of your personal hygiene because your clothes get damp and when we are at work, we all know it’s not always practical to keep running to the toilet to freshen up all the time.

But the worst part for me was the mental health aspect that came completely out of nowhere and really ‘knocked me for six’. Anxiety with a capital A. I literally thought I was losing my mind. I did not recognise the person I had become! I went from a naturally outgoing person to a nervous, panicky individual. I was finding that some days it was a struggle to leave the comfort of my home, I often felt giddy walking, and found myself confused due to the so called ‘brain fog’ concentration problems. I was experiencing bouts of panic attacks that left me exhausted. I’ve lain on the bed feeling my rapid heart beating out my chest and sat on a bench outside a shop and not been able to go inside because I could feel my heart pounding so quickly I thought I was going to pass out, or worse, die. It is a very scary place to be! I lost my confidence and mostly my passion for life. I would cry all the time with frustration or if anyone even said a nice word to me!

I was eventually referred to a doctor by my nurse who could see I was not well, and it is the best thing I have ever done. I couldn’t have gone on the way I was; it was taking its toll so much that I even handed my notice in from a job I enjoy because I couldn’t cope with everyday tasks, felt anxious around people and was mentally exhausted. When I opened up to my line manager and colleagues they were very supportive, which helped a lot. We agreed adjustments to my work-life balance and I am grateful to still be with the Society today!

I went down the route of medication to help with my symptoms. It is not for everyone, but it is helping me to come through it. I strongly urge all women to speak to someone about how they feel. “Please do not be like I was and think people know how you feel and say your fine when you’re clearly not for fear that people will think less of you. People are not mind readers. Unless you explain how you’re feeling, they will not be able to help you.

With the right support YOUR menopause journey can hopefully be a more ‘tolerable’ experience. There is help there if we ask for it. Please do not suffer in silence as I did. There is light at the end of the tunnel. And good luck – you can do this!”

Shockingly, in the UK almost a million women say they have left jobs because of menopausal symptoms, meaning many women who are in or are eligible for senior management roles leave the workplace at the peak of their careers. This is not only bad news for the women involved, but also for businesses who are losing crucial, experienced staff.

At Midcounties, the health and wellbeing of our colleagues is our top priority and we are keen to have open and honest conversations with all colleagues, including those affected by the menopause, to make sure you receive the support you need – whatever that may be.  

Going through the menopause can be challenging and there is no right or wrong way to manage your symptoms. If you find the menopause is affecting your work in any way, please do discuss the situation with your line manager as there are often solutions to be found. 

Whether you’re experiencing the menopause, are affected by menopause in some other way (for example, if a partner or colleague is experiencing symptoms) or would simply like to know more about it, we’d like to offer you to opportunity to take part in a workshop hosted by Springfield Mind.

Take part to find out how you can best support yourself and others when moving through this time of life. Offering a safe space to share stories, hear others’ experiences and learn coping strategies, the workshop will help you better understand the mental and physical effects the menopause can have.

We will run this event if we have enough interest from colleagues. If you’d like to take part, please email rebekah.brain@midcounties.coop in the first instance.

For more information have a read of the Menopause Health Newsletter here.